Before the Kenya mission trip, God told me that I had to learn to be comfortable in America before I was allowed to travel again. Not being able to decipher the meaning of that, I was super frustrated with God. It was even worse as some of my best friends started talking about all these great mission trips that they were hoping to go on, and here I was, sitting in America and doing nothing but waiting on God.
I thought, Really, God? Really? You tell me to be comfortable in America and yet you don't give me any pointers on how to be comfortable in America. I'm here waiting on you, yearning with all my heart to return to Africa, and yet you tell me to be still and know that you are God. Well, I'm being still, where are you?
Over the last couple of months, I have learned to trust God. In fact, there is no other route in life BUT to trust him. Ultimately, he knows what he is doing, and we don't. And that is the way that is should be. God's plan for our lives is so beyond ourselves that we aren't even able to comprehend it. Thank goodness that we can't, because I think that we would die from an overload of information! As far as the "being comfortable in America", I have still been at a loss.
Until today.
There is this mission trip. Yes, another mission trip. It's 8 months long and goes to three different countries all around the world. I would have to take a full gap year between highschool and college if I did it, plus the cost is $10,700. Sounds daunting right? I have no intuition as to if I am called to it or not, but I definitely can't rule it out. But there, standing in the way is learning to be comfortable in America. Being so discombobulated about it (yes! I've always wanted to use that word!), I called the AIM staff to see what they thought. The woman I spoke to prayed for me and then told me that the first thought that came to her head about being comfortable in America is doing the things that we would normally do internationally...in America. LIGHTBULB MOMENT!
How often do we think that since we are just "in America" that we aren't on the mission field? Every single mission trip, I get back, have extreme culture shock, retreat into my own little "comfort zone" (when, in fact, I am not comfortable at all!), create a massive personal bubble so that I won't be "hurt" with all the evil that is going on in America. After all, it's not Africa or South America or Asia. America is supposed to be a safe haven, therefore I have been making it one, even if it's artificial.
How many people really are "comfortable in America?" It's time to get comfortable to the uncomfortableness of being a follower of Jesus Christ.
So true Hannah! America is a mission field. We have been so accustomed to sin that we do not see a need for repentance. I pray that we in America become so brokenhearted to see that sin actually grieves the Holy Spirit. My God Speak to my heart to see what brings Glory and what brings shame to his name. May I only Glorify His Name!
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